Chapter 1: 思如菌菇 (Thoughts like mushrooms)

"思如菌菇" (Thoughts like mushrooms)

Thoughts grow like mushrooms, wave upon wave, everywhere is fertile ground for thought spores to spread.

Alan Watts described overthinker's thoughts as "Chatter in the skull, perpetual and compulsive repetition of words, of reckoning and calculating."

I can relate to his description, as I have a very noisy inner world, and I often need to use loud and strong music to counter that non-stop chatter in my skull.

Overthinking is not a praiseworthy merit, people who think a lot often feel anxious, oversensitive, paranoid and depressed. But like every coin has two sides, overthinking can be a character which leads to clarity and creativity, depending on how you balance the pain and the gain. Having said that, I still can't manage to balance these two. If you succeed in doing so, please show me how.

"思如菌菇" (Thoughts like mushrooms) is the first chapter of my current self-exploring art project ( tentatively named "Breeds of Self"). I mentioned in my previous post, it is the biggest and most complex art project of my career so far. "思如菌菇" (Thoughts like mushrooms) is just a very tiny part of this project, but it is the center and the most important element in my plan, and you will see why in my next post.

Starting with this post, I will unfold this large-scale art project bit by bit. The coming chapters are gradually forming a microcosm of my inner world. I wish these works would resonate with you, and I hope you will find comfort in viewing them.

Thanks for reading, see you next time, all the best!

Chapter 2: 巢(The Lair)







The roar in my ears becomes more and more deafening. I can't tell whether this continuous infernal noise is meant to stop me from moving forward or an arrogant invitation. All I know is that under the gaze of many terrifying eyes, I have reached the origin of the forest, a place where all my pain has been born. So I clench the spear in my hand, embolden myself, and climb into the huge red glowing lair.

The incomparable existence that stands in mid-air deeply shocks me. She is the owner of the lair, the maker of endless nightmares, a gigantic creature with a spider-like body and a human face, and a monster who is capable of self-reproduction. She is ugly, but also captivating. The mycelium-like luxuriant brain group keeps dancing on the top of her skull, piercing innumerable crazy thoughts into the blood-red thought follicles on her armor like sperms, igniting waves of fanatical heartbeats. Transferred from her exoskeleton to the forest's dense tree holes by the skeleton-like long arms, semi-mature fertilized eggs continue to hatch rapidly. On the day of maturity, these soul-gnawers will break through the shells, and eat away every inch of my peace and reason.

The continuous cacophony of heartbeats irritates me. I raise my spear, and hurl it with all my might towards a bright red fertilized egg on her body. The pungent smell of blood comes head on, and a column of blood flows down.

"What a shame. I worked so hard to make this playmate for you." she says calmly, looking down at me.

"Don't worry, she herself has filled the vacancy." An eerie creature crawling out of her mouthpart grins.

I look at the figure in the mirror, and tremble with deepest fear.

There is a dark and dense forest hidden in my heart...

To be continued...

Chapter 3: 连体婴(The Siamese Twins)

Irvin D. Yalom describes life as "a spark between two identical voids, the darkness before birth and the one after death."

If I were to give this transient spark a figurative body, I imagine it would look like a pair of Siamese twins, an infant and an elderly being, both ends of the lifeline coexisting in one body, sharing very limited and precious life resources, such as time, health, courage, knowledge and experience.

Today's society and media like to establish the young and the old as two seperate and hostile groups. The young people blame the old ones for being stubborn and seizing social resources, while the old folks consider the young people as selfish and defiant. If only everyone can see the Siamese twins living in their own body, perhaps this kind of hostility will cease to exist, and the virtue of respecting the old and loving the young can be truly carried forward in our society. After all, young people will get old, and old people are just young people who grow old.

By the way, if you've seen my previous work "The Lair", you might notice that there's an uncanny shadow lurking in the center of the illustration. That's right, it is the Siamese twins I introduce today.

Thanks for reading, see you next time, all the best!

Chapter 4: 笑的蜕变 (The Metamorphosis of Laugh)

Breeds of Self